What doesn't kill you
by one true voice
Summary: After Series 9, Harry is suspended, will this separation provide the encouragement they need or will Ruth still run from her feelings?


Part 1

The brown eyes looked out onto the grid to observe the core team filling out the various aspects of the paperwork, one of the many changes in the last few weeks following Lucus' departure. The team were still under observation and it was apparent to the team that senior figures within the government had lost faith in all that were connected with MI5.

Placing one page onto the slowly increasing pile of completed papers, Ruth sighed as she looked at the considerable greater pile of paper which was still to be completed. "Anyone want a coffee?" Ruth called to the other members who were in an similar situation to her; all wishing that they had something more fulfilling to spend their days doing, all wishing that they were able to return to days when their lives at MI5 weren't filled with suspicious looks and sentences where they questioned how much they could reveal to the questioner.

Standing from her desk, their eyes connected between the pane of glass, both trying to gauge the others feelings, trying to find a way to start the conversation which is desperately needed to continue their working relationship. The coldness which is saw in the eyes was something which caused her heart to sink to a degree which she didn't believe were possible. This complied with the fact that she was used to looking into brown eyes and getting lost amongst them only made her realise that they were further away from a working relationship than she had initially anticipated and it were questionable as to whether what they shared could even be described as a relationship.

"Oi Evershed" she was called by the all too familiar endearment from Dimtri; who had witnessed the sudden sadness which had been displayed in her eyes, another aspect along with the dark circles under her eyes which were telltale signs all was not well with the senior analyst. Instantly the colour rose to Ruth's cheeks following the realisation that once again she had been caught by Dimtri looking longingly into that particular office of the man who she had tried hard to deny and even resist her feelings towards. Placing a coffee on his desk and continuing the hold on one mug which she claimed as hers, she silently resumed her position at her desk, continuing her work whilst trying to push the all familiar thoughts to the back of her mind. Familiar to her as she had spent many nights wishing her life were different and reflecting upon the time when she would have been able to implement these changes. Wishing she had acted upon his sudden proposal and gave the answer which her heart was now aching to reply with.

"You alright?" Dimtri enquired hoping that the causal tone would get her to reveal more than she would in her guarded state. It didn't go unnoticed on Ruth, the look of concern which had reflected upon Dimtri's face, in fact it hadn't gone unnoticed that he had been increasingly concerned for her ever since the incident with Lucas, however Ruth still wasn't inclined to open up to him due to the basis she didn't know where to start.

"Yes, just wish that I could find some way to get through this" Ruth exclaimed as she held up a fraction of the papers, although they still seemed to fill her hand. Dimtri instantly replied before he was able to stop himself, "got plans tonight have you?"

The sadness which filled her once more as she realised that once more she was set for an evening with Fidget for company rather than a life which she could be experiencing had she accepted Harry's offer on that cold, sombre Spring morning. The sound of footsteps approaching prevented Ruth from answering as another round of paperwork was distributed to the already overworked grid.

"Are we getting the paperwork from all the sections?" Tariq enquired as he came to the conclusion that the bugging of various offices would have to remain until another time.

"Yes" came the reply, "it's all we trust Section D with following Harry's suspension, you never know whether anyone else was in cahoots with him and Lucus. We will discuss these in the briefing tomorrow" replied the man, looking directly at Ruth with the same cold expression which he had previously demonstrated so aptly, as the second half of this statement requested completion of their paperwork, suggesting that although their shifts had officially finished they were far from going home.

"I'll be off now, if you want me, please can it wait until tomorrow" he called over his shoulder as the other grid members watched the man who was known to them as _him_strode through the pods, once more leaving them with an incredibly late evening; or more likely morning ahead of them.

"I miss Harry" Beth stated and the way the other grid members exchanging comforting glances suggested she was not alone.


End file.
